{"id":99,"date":"2024-01-10T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-10T01:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/?p=99"},"modified":"2024-01-01T18:49:12","modified_gmt":"2024-01-01T18:49:12","slug":"surprise-ending-second-daily-dose-to-going-to-a-whorehouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/?p=99","title":{"rendered":"Surprise Ending [second daily dose to Going to a Whorehouse]"},"content":{"rendered":"

So me and this guy walk back through the narrow passageway, but when I get to the room with the cash register I think \u201cWhat am I going to tell the guys at the bar?\u201d  So I sit in one of the couches.  While I\u2019m thinking about what to do, sure enough in walks this father\/son team and the father says \u201cSon, today you\u2019re going to be a man.\u201d  [It\u2019s certainly worth asking if this is the way you want to become a man.]  Shortly, Delton comes flying by with a ruddy face and says \u201cYour turn.\u201d  So I get up and walk back through the narrow passageway.  They all laugh again.  \u201cHow old are you anyway?\u201d one of them says.  Twenty-one said I in a squeaky voice reaching for my ID.  They laugh again and somebody says \u201cShe\u2019s back that way [pointing].\u201d<\/p>\n

So I walk through another narrow passageway and this woman pops out of a room saying \u201cget in there and take your clothes off \u2013 you better be better than that last guy!\u201d  \u201cWhew,\u201d I thought \u201cshe won\u2019t see I\u2019m not wearing any underwear.\u201d  I quick take my clothes off and she comes back with just panties on.  The room is dark.  There\u2019s a bed low to the floor with a red light on the headboard, a low ceiling and a low-slung sink.  No windows.  \u201cCome over here,\u201d she says, and then she washes off my penis.  While she\u2019s doing this her boobs are hanging right in front of me and I figure now\u2019s the time I should be getting a hard-on, so I feel one of her tits.  \u201cThere\u2019ll be none of that!\u201d she says and slaps me across the face.  [\u201cTuuu\u201d is what a backhand across the left cheek sounds like.]<\/p>\n

Then she takes this little bottle of disinfectant, uses an eyedropper, uses the thumb and forefinger on her other hand to split the top of the head of my penis, and puts a couple drops right on top the slit.  Then she whips off her panties, jumps in the bed, and says \u201cCome on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Presiding\"<\/a>

Andy presiding over the MN House of Representatives – the person you are in your 30s is not always the person you were as a teenager<\/p><\/div>\n

Well\u2026 I sit down on the edge of the bed and mumble \u201cEhhh, you know I\u2019ve never done this before.\u201d  \u201cOh for chrissake!\u201d she says, \u201cJust get on top of me and rub around a little.\u201d  So I roll over on top of her, immediately keep rolling right over her, sit up on the other side of the bed, and say \u201cI just don\u2019t want to do this.\u201d  I\u2019ll be forever thankful for what happened next.<\/p>\n

For some reason she decided to have sympathy:  \u201cYou know, you really don\u2019t want to get a hang-up about this not getting laid.  It\u2019s maybe better to not lose your virginity in a place like this.\u201d  Then she told me she was a student at Whitewater State but ran out of money to pay for college and heard about this place where you didn\u2019t have to worry about anything, a place she could work for a year and save enough money to go back to school.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, I was fretting about getting dressed in front of her (remember, no undies) so we kept talking and I asked her what that dripping was from the ceiling.  That\u2019s when I found out Delton didn\u2019t get laid either.  He had refused to let her do the eyedropper thing and dashed the bottle against the ceiling.  That\u2019s why she had left the room (to get more disinfectant) and that\u2019s why she\u2019d said \u201cYou\u2019d better be better than that last guy\u201d \u2013 she was angry about missing breakfast for some punk kid who didn\u2019t want to cooperate . . .  with another one yet to deal with.<\/p>\n

Heading back to Chicago, unfortunately, I told the guys that I didn\u2019t get laid.  This embarrassment was part of the reason for choosing a college that no one else from my high school was going to \u2013 but generally I just needed to turn over a new leaf.  By the time I actually did lose my virginity in a cabin on Green Lake in the Fall of my sophomore year, it no longer seemed so embarrassing, and I was telling the story of Godley, Illinois to quite a few others, finding the girls, in particular, loved the part where I concluded that the moral of the story is that you don\u2019t want to lose your virginity in a whorehouse.   What do you boys think about this, the world’s oldest profession?  Should it be illegal?  What about the role of pimps?<\/p>\n

P.S.  It does take some confidence in your masculinity before you can tell a story like this, but I promise you that even though it seems like forever to get through high school, and even though having confidence about being masculine is not easy to come by in high school, this lack of confidence at that age is real<\/span> common.  It\u2019s what leads to so much braggadocio, fisticuffs, beer-chugging, fast-driving and worse.  The best I can tell you is that it\u2019s okay to wait for the right girl to come along, that it happens soon enough, and that in retrospect those few years of high school are a very small part of your life.  Just don\u2019t do something so stupid that it messes-up the rest of your life.  Don\u2019t get in a car with a drunk driver.  Be smart enough and grown-up enough to say No to some things.<\/p>\n

P.P.S.  By the way, losing your virginity is a great thing to say you\u2019ve done it \u2013 but the actual event takes some practice before it\u2019s a great thing all by itself.  Enjoy the practice.  Let me know how it\u2019s going if you want.  Oh, when I privately told Delton I knew he didn\u2019t get laid either, he denied it and I had to let it go because otherwise I\u2019d have to explain everything.  Now I wonder what Aho is doing and whether or not he regrets having lost his virginity in a whorehouse.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So me and this guy walk back through the narrow passageway, but when I get to the room with the cash register I think \u201cWhat am I going to tell the guys at the bar?\u201d  So I sit in one … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1638,"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions\/1638"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/andydawkins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}