Busted!

 

Busted!  [3rd Inning]

Hitting in the Metrodome

Andy swinging in Democrats vs. Republicans at the MetroDome

After law school I returned to Minnesota in time for the opening of The Hubert H. Humphrey MetroDome.  My friend Rocky, always the entrepreneur, had tee shirts printed saying “I opened the Dome” and had me and his eleven year-old nephew Danny hawking them the first Saturday in April, 1982.  It was an exhibition game with the Cincinnati Reds, the first game ever in the Dome.  Good thing the game was going to be played indoors because it was a bone-chilling 10 degrees outside.

So I say to Danny, “We got tickets, let’s go inside to sell these shirts.”  We hadn’t even sold one shirt when the gendarmes busted us for selling without a license.  Me and Danny were the first ever locked up in the MetroDome jail.   Yes, there’s a jail in the MetroDome.  And yes, they apparently had no qualms locking up an 11 year-old.  I never imagined a ballpark would have a jail, with real bars and everything, but there we were.  Whenever a cop would come by I’d yell, “Hey, we’ve got tickets!”  Finally around the 3rd Inning a sergeant let us out and we found our seats.   Later I learned the downtown precinct passed the shirts around.

Mending a Broken Heart

 

Mending a Broken Heart  [2nd Inning]

Growing up the White Sox were owned by baseball maverick Bill Veeck, the guy who put a midget, Eddie Gaedel, in uniform (just to get a walk), the inventor of the exploding scoreboard (for the rare White Sox home runs), and author of the book Veeck – As in Wreck.  A careful read of his book discloses that Veeck didn’t have a lot of money, always used other people’s money putting a syndicate together to own a team.  In fact, Veeck started his baseball career as an Assistant Groundskeeper at Wrigley Field and was the guy who planted the ivy that Wrigley is now famous for.  Just a guy who loved baseball.Bill Veeck

There was lots to like about Bill Veeck.  He was the first American League owner to have a Black ballplayer, Al Doby.  He had grade school kids draw pictures of their favorite White Sox; then had the best drawings framed and on display at the ball park.   When Martin Luther King marched to integrate Cicero, Bill Veeck joined hand-in-hand with Dr. King.  He installed a shower in the centerfield  cheap seats for fans to cool off in on hot days.  One time, when he owned the forlorn St. Louis Brownies, attendance was way down and he hit on the idea to have the fans manage a game.  The scoreboard would give two alternatives:  scorebooks held high by the fans meant one choice; held low the other.  Of course the other team didn’t need to bother stealing signs that day, but it was September and the lowly Brownies were already out of the pennant race.  Veeck always claimed he sold more scorebooks that day than any day in baseball and it was the best attended game of the season.

About the time I got cut from the high school team, Veeck sold the Sox — only to re-purchase them my last year of law school.  In the meantime Curt Flood, a St. Louis centerfielder, had sued major league baseball and opened the flood gates to free agency.  Before then a player was a serf to one team for life:  take the pay offered or don’t play.  Under free agency, once a current multi-year contract expires, a player is free to negotiate with any team to get the best salary offer.  This led to the ’77 White Sox being known as “The South Side Hit Men” using the “Rent-A-Player” concept, a Bill Veeck invention:   In the last year of a contract, a team not in contention might be willing to trade a veteran for future prospects knowing the veteran would likely sign elsewhere at the end of the year, and Veeck would get the other team to pay the slugger’s salary through the end of the year.   For the first time in my life the White Sox were the best hitting team in baseball with Richie Zisk, Oscar Gamble, Carlton Fisk, Eric Soderholm, Don Kessinger, all rounded up from other teams.

My best friend out east was from Brooklyn and hadn’t been to a major league game since the Dodgers left in 1956.  A friend of ours, Carol, needed a lift from New York to Chicago, so we headed out on a road trip, arriving in Chicago on July 3rd.  That night the Sox were playing the Texas Rangers, with Fourth of July fireworks promised after the game, and I suggested we go to the park.  Carol and her friends wanted to go along so there were five of us.  We bought a fifth of tequila to smuggle in.

When we arrive it’s already the 2nd inning and the game is a sell-out, but the usher at the gate was willing to let us in for a $20 bill.  With no seats, we had to sit in the aisle.  Upper deck, first row, behind first base, best seats in the house to catch a foul ball.  We made friends with our neighbors.  Everybody put a dollar in a hat for the person who glugged the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle.  Then we started another collection for who caught the first foul ball.  When it left the bat I knew it was heading our way, although it started to fade back towards the infield the closer it got.  At the last second I stretched over the railing and caught the ball.  Thank goodness my friends held on to me so I didn’t tumble all the way to the first deck.  What a way to get back in the game!  Richie Zisk even hit a game winning, walk-off homer, in the bottom of the 9th.    A “walk-off” is when a ball hit over the outfield fences gives you the lead in the bottom of the last inning and you get to “walk” around the bases while your team walks off the field victorious.  Later that night I was rounding bases with Carol.

 

Batting Practice

 Batting PracticeThe Start of a Love Affair

Starting when I was seven, once a year my Dad would take me to a major league baseball game.  Getting there early was a big deal.  The ball players arrive three hours before the start of the game.  After parking and paying the neighborhood kids “insurance” to watch our car, I skip to the players’ gate hoping for an autograph.  The turn-styles open two hours before the playing of the National Anthem.  We zip past the display cases and concession stands in the bowels of the park and race up the stairs to see . . . there’s nothing quite like the sudden sighting of the huge open green expanse of the playing field, bathed in sunlight, in the middle of a city . . . to see batting practice!

“Is that Looie over there playing pepper, Dad?”  Because we’re among the first patrons we can walk down by the Sox dugout and watch Luis Aparicio play a game of “pepper.”  Looie has the bat; three or four teammates line up five or six feet away, alternating who tosses the ball at Looie, who takes short swings to knock the ball back at them.  I hear from the kids these days that there’s no more pre-game pepper – that’s like going to the movies and never seeing Bo Derek.

Another group of White Sox is in the outfield catching fungos.  A fungo bat is longer and skinnier than a game bat, allowing for more accurate directing of the ball.  The best fungo hitter of all time, Jimmy Reese, one of Babe Ruth’s roommates, use to claim he could knock over a coke bottle from 50 paces.  When challenged, he’d say “First bounce or second bounce?”

Sox fan at age 8

A Sox Fan with his Sisters

For years my Dad hit me fungos on Saturday afternoons.  I’d go stand in the outfield; he’d stay at home plate, toss the ball three feet in the air, and whack a high one for me to run and catch.  If I had to dive, or turn my back to home plate to catch up with the ball, it was a great fungo hit!

So it was that I was playing ball with my friends one wet spring day just before the school bell rang.  Trying for a triple, I slid into a mud puddle and walked into class all muddy and dirty.  “Andy Dawkins, you’re just too muddy and dirty – you have to go home and change,” my third grade teacher said.  Ever since I’ve been known as “Dirt” Dawkins.

Not Everything is Great [fourth daily dose of My Trip to Mexico]

That second morning Robin was already having coffee at The Nice Place on the Beach, along with somebody I later learned was named Jimmy, when I arrived; so I sat the next table over.  Before Flower Girl showed up and Jimmy had left in a huff, I overheard Jimmy telling Robin the night before he was on the paved road when a group of men wondered if he was interested in a date.  (Jimmy is much older looking than Daniel and much more grizzled.)  Jimmy told them “Only if she’s a virgin.”  Jimmy claims he ended up in some family’s parlor where the price was negotiated, and then he and the family’s 20 year-old daughter were wished a good time.  Jimmy concluded saying it was fun, “but she didn’t seem to want to learn.”

!Que Horrible!  Perhaps not surprising an economy so fueled by Americans, Canadians and Europeans, amidst poverty, would include sex trafficking – but selling off your virgin children??!!  I wonder how much of the drug fighting and killing up north can also be laid at our gringo doorstep?  My distaste for Jimmy and his story surfaced later in some not friendly, even weird, encounters with him – but all this distaste is for another day.  On with Beauty.

On the other side of the moral compass, my relationship with Flower Girl was coming to an end – she was leaving that night.  We talked more about her genius in bio-chemistry, what she wanted to do with her life, why she thought prostitution should be legalized (but pimping was troublesome), and all things having to do with an enjoyable day at the beach.  When it was time for her to go at the end of the day, she brought me a gift – nicely wrapped as a surprise, it was her bag of marijuana.  I apologized for not remembering her name, could she say it again?  She told me, and I said I hoped to read about her as a famous person someday.

As she was walking down the courtyard to her bus, Daniel and I accidentally met-up by the stairs.  “Wow, wasn’t she sweet,” I said, but I didn’t mean it to be mean to Daniel, it’s just the way it came out.

The rest of the week passed without incident, but of course Daniel and I never became chummy because he’s never chummy with the men – only if you are accompanied by a female do you even have a conversation – and then it’s simply as a bridge to your female companion.  I have to admit it grew wearisome, overhearing conversations is unavoidable under la palapa, and there were always 4 or 5 or 6 bathing beauties to get to know.

–  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –

Favorite Beach Ladies

Beach Favorites Grace & Ellen

So that’s my story about visiting Mike in Playa Zipolite, a place with four great things in combination:  1.  Beauty.  2.  Friendliness.  3.  Low Cost.  4.  No Rules.   P.S.  There’s more to be told about la musica, las comidas, the breezes, waves and rocks, about why Playa Nudista?  Why Playa Muerto? about Susie the girl from Bristol England, about Donna the former CBC correspondent;  and I haven’t even had a chance to tell how much fun it was hanging with Mike and sharing political gossip, but it’s time to come home after a week of decadence.  I can’t wait to get home to wholesome Minnesota, my wife Ellen and my family.  (Besides too many dogs shit in the sand.) Mike walked me to the colectivo (shared taxi) and I told him I’d gone to say my good-byes to Daniel, but all he could do was grunt “yah.” “Next time bring Ellen,” Mike says, “and see how much he talks to you.”  I don’t know, we’ll see, I thought.

Donde estan las damas? [third daily dose of My Trip to Mexico]

 

The next part of this story is hard to tell because I liked Daniel and he was always the perfect gentleman and host while I was there.  Although known as “The Geriatric Pussy Hound,” to me his conversations with the ladies were totally polite and respectful – friendly inquiries about lives led and lives to come.  What red-blooded male, especially one in his mid-70s, should be excoriated for preferring his female patrons for conversation or for favor of an ice cream cone?

It was just after he bought Flower Girl (my name for her) an ice cream that I re-joined the conversation.  Plopping myself down in the sand between their hammocks, I horned in on the joint he had just rolled for her – still unaware of The Rule.  And, of course, marijuana being the truth serum it is, he soon came to realize we were not brother and sister.  We were talking all things nothing like brother and sister when he steered the conversation towards Chicago.  Chicago is his home town.  He use to meet his dates by the Lions in front of the Art Museum.  Chicago is one I can do too:  “Yah, both my parents are U of C grads; I was born while my dad was still getting his masters.”  Flower Girl smiled and wanted to hear more.  Daniel figured I wasn’t going away, and apparently not wanting the competition, just up and left.

Alone I had a chance to ask her how old she was and told her I thought she was closer to 29, she was so sophisticated.  See, just like him, trying to impress the ladies.

Later that night (still my first day) I heard about The Rule.  After the sunset I was “curbing” with my men friends, Mike, Bo, Spence, Joe and Eric, and telling everybody the glorious details of my first day, but when I got to horning-in on the joint, one after another started exclaiming what a faux pas that was and to expect to find my stuff by the curb when I got back.  “No,” I said, ‘it seemed all right.  We didn’t make any quick exit – just finished his joint and watched the sun set.”  No lo creo they said.  Nobody had broken The Rule and not been thrown-out.Albert Hofmann

Shortly after that I was started on another blunder.  I noticed a group of Mexican men had gathered near where we were sitting on the curb drinking beer.  They seemed to be doing the same thing we were doing, so I said “Donde estan las damas?”  Mike immediately got up and left, followed quickly by most the others.  I realized the men were responding in Spanish I could barely understand that there were women available for a price.  In terrible Spanish I tried to explain, “No, No!  Solamente una pregunta acerca de las damas normales, su amigas, not las prostitutes.”  Where was a Spanish dictionary when I needed it?!  Bo and Joe had stayed to head-off serious trouble and said come on Andy; let’s go.  “Just another gringo faux pas,” they later joked.

Tomorrow:  Not Everything is Great