Chap. 43 – Sally Finds What She’s Looking For!

Chapter 43

Sally Finds What She’s Looking For!

     Friday, December 9, we re-gathered at Jerry & Peggy’s campground before heading a short-ways up the Atlantic coast for North Palm Beach, Florida, the home of Sally’s Uncle Alvin.  Ready to head off once again as a caravan:  a family from Ohio with young children, fellow campers at Jerry & Peggy’s, already had the “Holiday Lighting Boat Parade” as their next destination as well, so that made three vehicles.  Huck told us Peaches was organizing his own caravan over on the Gulf side of Florida to join us and catch the boat parade.  “Plan ahead,” Sunshine told Huck.  “We can be a real Rainbow Family Caravan heading north in the spring.”

     Huck’s news prompted a discussion.  First, Sally said she definitely didn’t want a caravan arriving at her uncle’s place.  Then she surprised us with the news that Pirate Jack was heading back to California after the parade.  “Yeah, well, it’s really good news,” she said.  “Jack and I are planning a wedding!!!. . . as soon as I can get a divorce finalized . . .”

     “Yow!  Wow!  Yea!  That’s great!” we all said in unison.  Patty took a quick look at Sally’s ring finger – sure enough, Sally no longer had her wedding ring on.

     “This trip has been the best time of my life for a lot of reasons,” Sally continued, “I’ve become such a different person, seeing the world in a whole different way.  I’ve got my spirit back, much more open-minded – you know, Pirate Jack’s motto, ‘Harnessing the spirit of imagination’.   At any rate, Jack has to get back to his business, and you’re all invited to the wedding once we have a date – it can be a Rumpkin Reunion!”

     “All true,” Jack said, giving Sally a big hug and a kiss.  “After I meet Uncle Alvin, I’m heading back.”  And then, out of his pants pocket he pulled a rose-gold diamond engagement ring, got on one knee, and said, “Sally B, you’re the best!  Will you marry me?”

     “You betcha!”  Sally said laughing and crying all at once.

      “Where’s the champagne!” Rocky exclaimed, “A toast to what is fun!  It all goes back to that Hootenanny. . . “

     “Uncle Alvin has it all planned,” Sally said.  “He wants us to arrive early for a ride on his boat.  He has the champagne on ice. His place is on the Inter-Coastal Waterway.  All the parade boats will pass by us on their way up the coast to Jupiter.” 

     Patty sought out Huck.  “Look, do Sally a big favor, all of us a big favor.  Get a hold of Peaches and Sunshine and tell them this is a private affair.  I’m not even going to start blogging again until we’re way up the coast – maybe we’ll never see the two of them again.  You told me they weren’t keen on New York City, it being winter time – can’t believe you were promising a great party – despite knowing I didn’t like them.”

     Uncle Alvin was a delight to meet, still spry in his 90s, still sharp as a tack.  Wearing his Admiral’s cap, he showed us around the place, especially his 50’ by 20’ back deck and his 24’ cabin cruiser.  With a warm breeze blowing, we took a short ride down the inter-coastal waterway, and then back to the deck for the parade.

     Here’s what a boat parade looks like, as captured by Patty’s camera: 

Imagine the Las Vegas strip all lit-up, only on water, floating by you, with some Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade seasoning, and, according to Steve, a dash of the Philadelphia Mummers parade (some boaters were tossing water balloons at us on the docks) .  Literally over a hundred boats in a tight line-up, lit up like Christmas trees, or displaying manger scenes, or Santa and his elves, some blasting Christmas carols, some blaring rock n’ roll.  There were fishing boats, sail boats, little boats, big boats, several of those “cigarette” speed boats, even a raft, but nary a yacht. 

     “Geez Uncle Alvin,” Sally quipped, “you’ll have to invite us back again next year so we can enter the Land Yacht on a barge.”

     Skip, Rocky and Max did their best to just enjoy the parade, hiding all the heightened intrigue (and alarm) that – so far – none of the rest of us had any idea about.  Max, especially, was worried sick about not immediately going to the authorities with what Skip and Rocky had told him, so worried sick that he excused himself to go crash in the Land Yacht.  Alone, he called his ex, Lisa, again.  “Skip’s telling me that Ken is in on some plan to stop a future terrorist bombing – and going to the authorities is the wrong thing to do,” he told her.

     The night of the boat parade we all slept in the Land Yacht, except Max, who was on Uncle Alvin’s couch, and Sally and Jack, who had Uncle Alvin’s spare bedroom.  In the middle of the night, Sally got Jack up to spend part of the night under the stars on Uncle Alvin’s deck. In the morning we left for our one remaining stop, Skip’s sister’s place in Virginia, before hitting Philadelphia and New York City.

Chap. 42 – Ken Comes Clean

Chapter 42

Ken Comes Clean

      With the Land Yacht to themselves, mostly bored, Skip and Rocky were playing cards when Max came in after one of his long walks.  He had just had another long talk with Lisa after Lisa had had a long talk with Ken.  Here’s how Max described his conversation with Lisa (to Skip and Rocky):

 “Lisa never really said much of anything about the ballpark bombing.  Mostly it was a defense of her brother, extolling his virtues, but I did get her talking more about this new thing Ken’s doing in Vancouver, making a movie – and it’s not just any ol’ movie . . .

“Apparently there’s a sizable Somali community in Vancouver and some Hollywood types were up there to make a movie about jihadi recruiting, but the community took umbrage about it, saying it made it look like all Somalis are would be terrorists . . .

“So apparently Ken took it upon himself to prove otherwise.  Ken claims it’s just the opposite:  Vancouverites are really proud of how their Somali community has assimilated and been accepted.

“ So Ken wants to make the movie about that – says that the movie does two things:  exposes the U.S.A’s wrong-headed policies; and shows the jihadi movement for what it isn’t – something to do with religion.  He thinks it will be a dynamite documentary juxtaposing devout Muslims in Canada living a life of peace and relative prosperity with disenchanted Somalis in the USA, ripe for recruitment, not feeling like they belong, being dissed by Trumpers – (and cowboys I reminded him) – and, Ken claims, that’s how they become lone wolves launching terrorist attacks as foot soldiers of the Islamic State – like the ballpark bombing.”

     “I don’t buy it,” Skip interjected.  “First, he says it’s the CIA; now it’s a movie venture.  And really nothing about the plot to blow up Dodger Stadium?  Did he tell Lisa anything at all about that?”  

     “Not much that you don’t already know,” Max replied, “just that Gordy’s cellmate was also up in Vancouver doing something that got him close to the Somali community, and Gordy somehow knew something was up.”

      “Did we get a name?  That cellmate?”  Rocky asked. 

      “No,” Max said.  “Ken called him ‘John Doe-something-or-rather.’ Next stop would be the registry at the Bureau of Prisons, if you guys are gonna stay with this.”

——————————————————————————————————————-

     Not too many minutes after Max finished telling Skip and Rocky what he learned from Lisa, Skip’s phone rang.  Here’s what Max and Rocky heard on their end; Skip did not have it on speaker phone and pretended no one else was around:

      Skip:  “Yeah, Hi Ken.”

      (pause)

     Skip:  “No I didn’t tell your ex-brother-in-law everything – just that I was worried about you – and maybe your sister would want to check-in – you know, just see if maybe you’ve gotten in too deep on that dis-engagement thing.”

     (pause)

      Skip:  “Yeah I know, but I know that’s not the whole story, too.  Either I get the whole story now or I go to the Fibbies with everything I know.”

     (longer pause)

     Skip:  “No Shit…”

     (longer pause)

      Skip:  “Fucking unbelievable…”

     (pause)

     Skip:  “Okay, okay, that explains the CIA white lie; but look we’re all friends here, you should tell your sister all this, too.  Maybe all us together can save your ass, maybe make you a national hero, rather than you ending up in jail and us too.”

     (pause)

     Skip:  “But Ken, not unless you tell me why that bomb didn’t go off where anybody would get hurt . . .”

     (pause)

     Skip:  “Okay.  I get it.  More later.  Peace Out.”

     “What!!  What did he say?!”  Max and Rocky screamed out.

     “Well,” Skip dove in, “for starters, he was ranting and raving about me getting Max and Lisa involved, claims I violated a level of trust we had, said I was ‘a fucking asshole’ for putting his sister at risk now too.  But when I threatened him with going to the FBI, he calmed down and gave me some good reasons why not to – and I think this time he’s telling the truth.

     “He actually is working both sides of the street.  Yep, helping the Somali community keep ISIS from making any recruiting inroads, but also with Gordy he’s got someone inside, someone who’s part of the fuckin’ ISIS recruiting cell!”

     “Oh my God,” Max said, feeling faint.

     Skip continued on, “He never gave me the name of the insider.  My guess is that it’s our ‘John Something-or-rather’ who knows Gordy – Gordy Ettinger – from being cellmates.  And this is a good one . . . just now on the phone Ken told me that after getting out of prison, our ‘John Doe’ ended up joining a posse comitatus in Vancouver, and somehow that posse has ties to the jihadis.”

     “No, that’s unbelievable,” Rocky interrupted.  “They’re natural enemies.”

      “Go figure,” Skip replied.  “All I’m hypothesizing is that our John Doe figure, through Ettinger, brought remnants of the SLA gang into the posse movement, and they’re responsible for the bombing at Dodger Stadium.” 

     “Holy God Almighty,” Rocky said under his breath, “the puzzle’s falling in place.  We connect the posse in Vancouver with the posse in Boulder, and we’re close to solving two ‘who-dun-its,’ but tell me again why this shouldn’t all get reported, right now, to whomever is in charge, especially the terrorism angle?”

     “Because it’s deeper than that,” Skip finished with.  “Ken might need our help.  Because – get this – because he suspects another terrorist attack is in the works and there are some innocent people who need to get a safe way out first.” 

     “No, not going there,” Max was quick with, “and I don’t think Lisa will either – certainly not anybody else on this bus.  Count me out.”

Chap. 41 – More on Susie’s Wiles while Sleuthing

Chapter 41

More on Susie’s Wiles while Sleuthing

     We took the Land Yacht to Miami Beach on Sunday to swim in the ocean, Sally looking especially good in a halter-top and short-shorts.  Sally called her 92-year-old uncle in North Palm Beach, and informed us, “He’s really looking forward to our visit.  He’s a really lonely old-guy.  Our visit is a big deal for him – I’m so glad you guys didn’t nix the visit – but . . . but he’s insisting we not show up ‘til Friday.

     “He wants to show us this ‘Holiday Boat Parade,’ and it’s not until Friday.  I don’t know what a ‘boat parade’ is, but I hope you guys go along with me on this – he’s family – and I don’t want to let him down.  He’s been counting on this for four months.”

     “Besides,” Jack said, trying to help Sally out, “it’s sunny! It’s warm!  We’re in Florida! There’s Key West to visit.  Let’s stay the week and give those unlucky Rumpkins stuck in snowdrifts up north something to view – and by the way – doesn’t Sally B look great!  Patty, turn the camera on.”

     So we encamped at Peggy’s for the week and went our separate ways.  The Rover, with Jack, Steve and Sally aboard, went down to Key West to do some deep-sea fishing – Sally’s idea.  Patty and Huck stayed at Patty’s movie producer friend’s place.  Max, Rocky and Skip held down the fort in South Miami.  Keeping it to herself, Sally was miffed about Max passing-up a chance to go deep sea fishing – maybe the best fishing of the whole trip – and opting, instead, to hang back with Skip and Rocky.  “Is he bothered by how I’ve taken to Jack?” she thought.

      After everybody else left for Key West, waitress Susie was back in touch with Skip and Rocky.  There was a new guy in Boulder who was coming into the Chat & Chew regularly, once with Charlie Furbush.  “He’s been smilin’ at me, winking.  Maybe if I come on a little?  Maybe I can crack this case,” Susie said more as a statement than a question, puffing up her sleuthing ability.   

      “Yeah, go for it, girl,” Rocky said.  “Is he good-looking?”  We figured Susie was going to be successful.  She was an eye-popping, fun-loving, go-for-it type.  Nicely endowed, she knew how to put a sway to her walk when she wanted to catch a guy’s eye.

Chap. 40 – Max Can’t Believe Ken is in on the Bombing

Chapter 40

Max can’t believe his Ex-Brother-in-Law is in on the Bombing

      The day after Thanksgiving, with Huck back on board, the original seven of us, plus Pirate Jack, left the Gulf-side waters of Florida for the Atlantic Ocean towns of Miami and North Palm Beach.  Miami to visit a movie producer friend of Patty’s, and North Palm Beach to visit an elderly uncle of Sally’s.  Peaches and Sunshine had decided to stay behind having just arrived at the Sun & Surf and found it to their liking.

     Rocky asked Sally, “. . . so you wanted to be a tourist, right?  I remember you making sure we didn’t pass by the Hearst Castle.  Well, did you see the name of the road we’re on – ‘Alligator Alley,’ and I know a place comin’ up with lots of real live alligators.  Any chance you’ll request a stop?”

      Steve piped in, “Wait a minute, don’t answer Sally.  I’m betting a sawbuck she says no.” 

     Rocky winking, gave Steve the thumbs up on the bet, and started describing the alligators he knew:  They each weigh a fucking ton, five times the size of you, Sally.  Teeth as big as your fist, jaws as big as this [Rocky demonstrating with his arms wide]. 

    “You’re right,” Sally said, “I’m not going.  Fool me once, but not twice – you’re going to try that Santa Cruz trick again – getting me to jump in the water for a Mahi Mahi.  No way.  If you guys go, I’m staying in the Yacht.”

     After Rocky’s description, no one seemed too interested in stopping, and Rocky changed the subject.  “So I don’t mean to sound age-ist, but what does a 92-year-old know about what is fun?”  (This was directed towards Sally when he learned exactly how old her uncle was.)  

     “Well, Max told me I had to know three people to visit to get on the bus, and that relatives were okay,” Sally replied.  “And excuse my language, Rocky, but what the fuck, you’re no spring chicken yourself!”

     “Three?”  Patty said, “Skip told me you had to know five people, who would take us in, to get on the bus, what’s with that?”

     Max jumped in, “I told Sally my seven made it ten between us, and Skip okayed it because we were having a hard time finding any females who wanted to come with us.”

     “Oh great, so I was the only foolish girl you guys could round-up out of all the ladies in your lives.  Guess that doesn’t say much about your history of showing a girl a good time,” Patty joked.

     The banter continued crossing the Everglades to Miami.  Arriving in the Little Havana section of Miami, it looked like Patty had also stretched things a bit to get to her five.

     “Jesus Christ,” Rocky exclaimed, “This house is tinier than that fucking stilts one.  Where we going to stay?  And there’s no driveway to park the Land Yacht.  I thought that was part of the deal.  You only made the list if you could put us up.”

     So we dropped Patty off and went searching for a place to stay.  First, we checked out Everglades National Park, but Sally was worried about nearby alligators, so we settled on the reasonably priced Jerry & Peggy’s Campground in South Miami, where we could park the RV for $34 a night and get $17 tent sites.

     That night Skip, Rocky and Max took the Rover “to meet with some local Forwards,” is what they said, but the purpose was to get Max up to speed on the entire puzzle.  Skip ended by saying, “We think Ken is the ‘good guy’ in all this, but has gotten in over his head.  Talk to Lisa and we’re betting Lisa will get to the bottom of it; get Ken to spill the beans.”

     “Whoa!”  Max exclaimed.  “I need to be clear about all this.  You’re telling me Ken is somehow involved in the bombing at the Dodgers’ ballpark, and you guys suspect there’s a tie-in with the murder in Boulder, Montana!  And that we’re the only ones that are on to this!  I thought we were going on a fishing trip; NOT figuring out whether Ken is fighting terrorism or aiding and abetting terrorism; NOT solving some murder mystery; NOT stopping a god-damn sex trafficking operation – Oh for cris-sake!   All this you’re telling me now, and I’m supposed to get Lisa to believe you’re not making this up?”

     “Yeah,” Skip responded gravely, “and for Ken’s sake, and the safety of us all, keep this to yourself and Lisa.”

Chap. 39 – Thanksgiving, 2022, on the Road

Chapter 39

Thanksgiving, 2022, on the Road

      Wednesday before Thanksgiving, a balmy low 80s-degree day, Huck arrived and without Sunshine and Peaches.  “They know where we are, though,” he told Patty, “It’s just they wanted to go see some ol’ pals up in Georgia first.  They dropped me off at a truck stop by the intersection with I-75 and headed north.  Found a trucker right away heading south all the way down to Naples, but geez-Louise!  It was quite a walk from the Sarasota exit to here.”

     We asked Huck if there were any memorable times in Lafayette or New Orleans and where’s Big Sam?  “Big Sam bought a bus ticket back to L.A. after having a falling-out with Peaches – apparently Sunshine was complaining that Sam was trying to pimp her for some cash – but I don’t believe it.  I think Peaches was just getting jealous.  Me and Sunshine are just best friends now.”

     Meanwhile, Rocky and Skip went around the RV park inviting fellow dwellers to our “Thanksgiving Dinner,” where we promised entertainment as well as food.  Patty and Sally followed behind asking if anybody had a good joke or story they wanted recorded to be part of the entertainment.  Steve was off at Hazel and George’s to see if they wanted to come to “our place” for dinner instead of going downtown.

———————————————————————————————————————

     Later on, Skip and Rocky were at poolside, off by themselves, trying to put “the jig saw puzzle” (Rocky’s term) together.  They listed things they’d overlooked so far, like:  What’s Gordy’s last name?  What’s the name of Gordy’s cell mate?  What was Abdul’s last name, or real name?  What were his Canadian connections – had any of his family come forward?  etc.  And they talked about when would be the right time, if ever, to take what they knew to the authorities – maybe an opportunity back in Boulder to launch a Forward Party candidate for Jefferson County Sheriff . . . “or maybe embarrass Trump World about not having fought for a wall on our northern border,” Rocky joked.

     When Max showed up, Rocky took off, leaving Max and Skip alone.  Max said he had called Lisa right away with an early Thanksgiving Be-Well-wish and learned a lot:

  • Lisa and Ken both had known some of the SLA crowd back in the 70s, when they were activists together in California.  But Lisa said they went out of their way to condemn the SLA’s tactics. 
  • Nevertheless, Ken had struck up a friendship with a guy named Gordy Ettinger, while Gordy was doing time for that Sacramento bank robbery. 
  • Max was sure Lisa knew everything Ken was up to, including his latest thing, raising money in Hollywood to finance a “disengagement and de-radicalization” program in Vancouver to counter disaffected Somalis from joining – or aid them in disengaging from – terrorist groups.

     Later that day, Skip found a private moment with Rocky and said, “Well, we know Gordy’s last name – it’s Ettinger.  And we now know Ken is up to something in Vancouver.  I think maybe we should clue Max in on the puzzle – sounds like Lisa, his-ex, could supply a whole lot of info about her brother Ken.”

     “Why not get everybody on the bus into it?” Rocky joked.  “Just tell Patty we’ve got a real-live murder mystery she can sell to Hollywood.” Next day we served a simple feast of turkey drum sticks, sweet potatoes, and cranberry sauce, and, by golly, a score or more of fellow RVers showed up bringing their lawn chairs, their pets, and something to share for the meal.  And then Peaches and Sunshine showed up!   Honking and waving, grinning and shouting, “Heard you guys were doin’ some Rainbow Family-Style dining.”  Under a clear night, with just a sliver of a moon, we showed the Sun & Surf crowd our best videos, shared our fellow-travelers’ best jokes, and watched the Wizard of Oz on the big screen TV.  Thinking about it the next day, we thought maybe half the crowd had ended up thinking being a Pirate was maybe the best way to go – more fun than being a Forward, and more understandable than being a Trumpeter.