Susan Johnson

The end of my thinking myself polyamorous came upon meeting Susan (Suzy) Johnson.  I pretty much fell in love on our first meeting.  After lunch at the Longfellow Grill, we walked down by the river (the Mississippi) and sitting on a boat dock, her to my left, both gazing rightward towards the sun, I looked back at her, gorgeous in her sunglasses, and I thought, OMG she’s lovely.  Our second date, meeting at Gold Medal Park, we held hands walking across the Stone Arch Bridge, and when I put my arm around her waist, I said, “We’re a pretty nice fit.”  Our third date was an outdoor concert at Crooner’s Bar, where we left our seats and started dancing outside the tent where no one would notice us.  On the way home we stopped at a deserted beach and kissed under the moonlight.  A month later we took a trip down to Alma, Wisconsin and made love for the first time.  Two months after that we spent a week in Atlanta campaigning for Warnock and Ossoff.  I could go on and on.

We met on Green Singles (of course).  She had recently quit the dating sites – too many scammers, but Green Singles was continuing to send photos of people who had expressed interest in messaging with her.  She says it was my eyes that caught her attention, and that I lived in Saint Paul (her town too), and that I was so open about myself, including giving my name – one she recognized from my time in politics.  “Okay,” she thought, “maybe I’ll try again,” – and popped for the $11.97 it cost to message me back.On her profile (photo above), I liked her smile, her long hair, her pose sitting on her porch, plus she lived in Saint Paul – certainly worth a try.  Of course, just being pretty and shapely is never enough.  Soon I got to know her values, her politics, her sunny disposition, her self-confidence, her openness, her being curious, and mostly what a decent, solid individual she was – not someone who was going to be dependent on me for anything except bringing joy into her life.  She was kind to animals – my mom always said that’s a good way to judge people.  Later I got to know her two adult children – nice kids!  Clearly, she’d done a good job raising them.

Suzy likes spontaneity.  We have similar interests.   We like doing things together, especially reading books out loud to each other, traveling, and just being out about town.  She even has become a Twins fan and a fantasy football fan!  I like that she’s an artist and has had a career being a social worker in the Minneapolis public schools.  Plus, there’s just enough of a “bad girl” part to her.   What’s not to like!

caption:  Suzy’s painting of Alma, Wisc. – where we first made love

And guess what, we haven’t had a fight, nary a shouting match, in the 30 months we’ve known each other.  Our one disagreement was over whether the death penalty could ever be appropriate.

Best of all, I opened my heart to her!  That was an amazing experience, letting myself be open to loving someone and feeling no doubts about it.  The turning point to becoming so much in love happened this way:

She got invited into the female Bluebirds’ book club, and I thought, “Oh Geez, now that she’s tight with my friends for over 40 years, I have to do right by her, or I’ll be on the outs with the ladies of the world.  I better be honest and sure about what’s happening.”  It took a little while until I realized it was just as simple as truly opening up your heart*.  I love you Susan Johnson!

*Truly opening up your heart – what is that all about?  Maybe lots of men know this, but I want to try to explain it to myself.  It’s not that you love somebody because they are attractive.  It’s not that you enjoy being with that person – not any of those kinds of things. And for me, it was not about making a commitment, not about making yourself vulnerable.

Instead, for me, it’s when you quit thinking about maybe eventually needing an exit strategy; it’s when you quit worrying you might hurt her/him if it doesn’t work out; it’s just as simple as saying to yourself, “I’m going to open up my heart.”

Suzy has been my rock through some hard times.  My son Jack has had a tough go with his mental outlook for a while now, but slowly, hopefully, he’s getting better.  I’ve needed Suzy’s shoulder to cry on, and she’s been there; getting Jack better has been all consuming and Suzy’s been understanding.  That’s even more what love’s about.  Lucky to have met you, Susan Johnson!

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Well, that’s it, folks!  The end of my Tributes to My Many Friends.  How things turn out with Suzy will have to wait until the next time I sit down to write memoirs – but I’m not worried about it.

If you stay tuned, tomorrow I start my Rumpkins novel, a golden-years romance, a travel adventure ensnared in a murder mystery, about seven Minnesotans in search of themselves, in search of their country – looking for a better body politic. Following the novel, I have a series of stories titled “Growing Up, Then and Now, A Father’s Stories for His Sons.”