Chapter 13

The Beginnings of a Movie?

     Traveling down the Pacific Coast Highway, the next scheduled visit actually on the list was Santa Cruz to visit Debbie, somebody Max said knew we were coming.  With Max back on the bus, Patty was excited to catch Max up with her new movie idea “The Rumpkins –  A 2022 Merry Pranksters Story.”  Sally asked what other movies she’d been part of.

     “The Public Domain!” Huck interjected, “I even had a leading role!”

     “He didn’t have a single line,” Patty said, describing her 2015 movie about the I-35 bridge collapse, “but yes, Huck played the truck driver role I had in mind exquisitely.  I had him backed up on the bridge waiting patiently for the traffic to get moving when he notices the lady in the convertible in front of him seems to be having an argument on her cell phone with her husband, or boyfriend.  Then in a fit of exasperation she flings her cell phone out the car and the camera, in slow motion, catches the downward flight of the phone into the Mississippi River, two hundred feet below.  Huck honks his horn and gives her the thumbs-up sign, perfectly capturing the look of someone who knew exactly what the lady driver in front of him was doing – and congratulating her on the decision to toss the phone, as well as the guy. 

      “After he beeps, the lady, who just tossed the phone, glances into her rear-view mirror, sees Huck in his cab, his smile and the thumbs-up sign, and then Whoosh! Huck’s truck drops out of sight in her rear-view mirror and plunges into the river, leaving the lady in front of him as the last car that made it past where the bridge collapsed.  You were just great Huck, better than a thousand words.  But the movie went on another two hours about that lady, and you never appeared again.”  

     Rocky interrupted, “So who’s this Debbie character we’re off to visit?” 

     “Turn your camera on,” Max said.  “This is a good story.  On one of my earlier trips visiting Peace Corps friends around the country, traveling with a buddy named Bob, we get to Tucson and knock on the door of my old Peace Corps friend – an old girlfriend really, but she tells me, more or less, ‘Nice to see you Max, but I’ve moved on.’  That night Bob and I slept in the car . . . it was a station wagon with a mattress in back . . . at the University of Arizona football stadium parking lot. The next morning, on the way out-of-town, we pass this old 1950s style motel with an outdoor swimming pool and there’s maybe a dozen bathing beauties poolside … so we slow down, take a second look, and decide maybe we should stay one more night in Tucson.”

     “Oh Boy!  I can’t wait to meet Debbie!”  Huck exclaimed, interrupting.

    “OK, keep listening, Max said.  “After checking in and donning bathing suits, we go poolside and almost immediately are offered kahlua and coffee by this mighty fine-looking group of bikini-clad females.  Wow!  How lucky can two single guys get!  Turns out the Tucson Open, a pro golf tournament, was in town and these were the caddies’ girlfriends who had little interest in watching their boyfriend hold some golfer’s putter.  But they were not available that night. 

      “At any rate, reading the local paper, I spied a lecture at the University as something we might do instead.  Get there, and it’s packed. I perch myself on a ledge and in walks this tallish, nice-looking co-ed, looking for a seat, so I offer my perch. At the intermission I introduce her to Bob. Before the night is over, she says, ‘My name’s Debbie. Call me if you stick around.’

      “So of course we stuck around and get invited to Debbie’s place for dinner the following night.  It turns out Bob’s the lucky one who gets to spend the night, and I’m back at the football stadium parking lot – which wasn’t so bad because you could get into the locker rooms for a shower . . . It was the old stadium and not locked up . . . After a couple nights of this, Bob says to me, ‘You know, I think you and Debbie were made for each other, both tall, both Jewish, both good at wisecracks. Come on over tonight, and you stay, not me.’

“Later, I learned more about all this cupid-playing. It was Debbie’s idea, not Bob’s that I spend the night with her. Debbie tells me, ‘You know, I just had to try this fling with guys to see if I really preferred being a lesbian.’  Okay, it was a set up . . . but we’ve stayed friends, good friends, and I’ve gotten to know her entire family.  Debbie’s now living with her mother in Santa Cruz.  They’re excited to meet all of you.”

     “Well, yeah, fun story, Max,” Patty says, “but we’re not doing re-enactments.”  Which led Patty to secretly ask Rocky’s help in dreaming up some fishing escapade for Sally to star in.

     Arriving in Santa Cruz, Debbie had her own place not far from her mother’s.  Between the two of them they had room for us all.  It was amazing how much Debbie and her mom, Leba, loved Max – which easily attached to the rest of us.  They wanted to hear all our stories.  They took us to the wharf for dinner.   They wanted Max to tell the entire story about him and Debbie.  They encouraged us to rabble-rouse the entire state of California.

     They also provided some really good political types to look up if we ended up in Arizona doing the Rumpkins organizing.  Max, in his story, had forgotten to mention that Debbie’s dad, who died young, had been Speaker of the Arizona House of Representatives and best friends with the Udalls, one of whom was still around. 

     The second day in Santa Cruz, Max and Sally hired a boat to go deep-sea fishing.  Rocky decided to go too.  Patty went along to do some filming – us not knowing she had a plot with Rocky to make it movie-worthy.  They came back with either a tall fishing tale, according to Sally, or almost the biggest catch ever, according to Rocky, but no fish.  “It’s all on film,” Patty says.

The film’s rolling:

 .  . . the Monterey Bay waters a brilliant blue, the Pier and its distinctive roller coaster disappearing in the distance, when Rocky starts telling Sally the shallow waters near the pier are famous for these large dolphin-sized fish that glisten yellow, green and blue, called Mahi Mahi.  “Let’s go back by the pier.  Land one of those, and you’ll make the paper,” Rocky tells her. 

A little later we all gasp as Sally tries to pull up this huge dolphin-sized fish exclaiming it’s a Mahi Mahi!  [while Rocky explains to us viewers that unbeknownst to Sally he had swum under the boat and attached a large sequined shimmering mannequin to her line].  In the movie she keeps tugging and tugging, and Max says “Here’s a net.  I’ll hold the line; you jump in and help get it up with the net.”

     “Unfortunately,” Patty interjects, “Sally didn’t take the bait, didn’t jump-in, didn’t get her blouse all clinging wet, and so the film is going to the cutting room floor.”

Instead, we watch Sally saying:

“No!  You jump in – that sucker is big enough to eat me.”  A little later the film shows the fish getting away (Rocky having untethered it), and Max saying to Sally, “And you said you knew how to fish!”

      Back at Debbie’s watching all this, Sally defends herself.  “I knew it wasn’t a Mahi Mahi.  Mahi Mahi don’t come this far north.  I was just playing along with your silly gag movie idea.”  Yeah, right, we all thought.      

     After 48 hours in Santa Cruz, we motored on towards San Luis Obispo – not knowing that our blog was about to become a sensation and that Patty would have a movie that included our role in a terroristic plot to blow up the Los Angeles Dodger’s baseball stadium.