SECOND PART of Hearst Castle Caper

     Scouting the place that evening, we saw there was a Tourist Center separate from the Hearst Castle, two different, distinct places, the Castle old, the Tourist Center new.  The Tourist Center is a short mile east off California Hwy 1, but it’s another winding three-mile road to the Hearst Castle, atop the highest cliff between Big Sur and Santa Barbara.  The Castle sits on a vast estate with a view of the ocean in the distance.  In fact, the gargantuan Castle looks almost tiny from the Tourist Center.  They even have telescopes for those who don’t want to lay out $10 to take a tour bus ride up the mountain and view the estate, “La Cuesta Encantada” (The Enchanted Hill), up close.   

     Even at 5 p.m., there was plenty going on at the Tourist Center, lots of tourists coming and going, stories and pictures on the walls, and plaques under glass, all about William Randolph Hearst and the Castle, with descriptions about things that had happened there, including to some family members.  But notably, nothing about Patty Hearst.  Best of all, if we were going to do some guerilla theatre, there was a huge garden, immediately out the large window looking towards the Castle, providing both a potential stage and a captive audience. 

     “A garden as redolent as the Gardens of Versailles,” Sally said that night, as we reviewed our options sitting around the campfire brainstorming a possible skit.  “Don’t trample the flowers.”  As we developed the skit, including that garden, with its rows and rows of neatly-pruned bushes and walking paths, there was some anxious tummy-tightening for those of us having a hard time imagining ourselves traipsing through the garden going ahead with the outlandish idea we were developing.

     Just before the Tourist Center closed for the day, Patty and Rocky had paid the $10 for the official tour, and now at our campfire, gave us a report:

“You have to see it for yourself to get the whole picture,” Patty started, “but I’m not sure it’s worth the ten bucks.  Lots of wood carved chairs, lamps with patterned lamp shades, gloomy rooms really – 115 in fact!  Got kind of boring, but I kept thinking about the Orson Welles movie, Citizen Kane, that dark portrayal of Hearst the publisher – and kept on thinking about his granddaughter Patty, the SLA member, and a plot came to me.”

     “The view out the windows was exquisite,” Rocky joined in, “but paying money for views of mother-nature?  I hate these touristy things.  Now the wine cellar, that was almost worth paying ten bucks to see – hundreds and hundreds of the best wines from all over the world – what a waste really.”

Patty continued with the plot:

“When we got to Hearst’s study, called ‘The Gothic Room’,” “Patty continued, “I started thinking Agatha Christie and all of us sitting around the big table trying to figure out who was the murderer, which closet Patty Hearst might be hiding in . . .”

     “But that’s when I told Patty there was no way we could pull it off,” Rocky interrupted.  “Too many guards.  If we were to try anything at the Castle, it could easily become a real shoot-out. 

Patty finishes:

“So that’s why we’re recommending the Tourist Center for our guerilla theater.  And here’s what’s going to make it work!  The amazing thing you’re not going to believe, Rocky left the tour and made friends with the tour bus driver, telling him we were part of a movie company.  If he’s willing to play-along he can have a bit part, get paid, but the thing is – Rocky tells him, it has to be spontaneous – nobody can know you’re hired.  We’ll keep it safe, and we pay our extras well.”