Dear Nick,

I  am real proud of your pick-off move to third base and your straight A+ grades, and I want to use this P.S. to tell your make-you-laugh story.

Teaching about sex is another top-of-the-list thing.  I learned from Purry and Scarface.  Grace, my mom, had informed the Dawkins kids that so long as we found good homes for all of Purry’s kittens, she wouldn’t have to get fixed.  Every Spring (and sometimes in the Fall) when Purry was in heat Grace would get us to the window and point out the arrival of Scarface (Grace’s name for him).  Scarface would chase the other males away, always successfully (I assume it’s how he got so many scars and won Purry’s adoration), and then start fornicating in plain view.  Nine weeks later, Presto! kittens.  The neighborhood ended up with many generations of Scarface and Purry descendants.

Well, Ellen and six year-old Nick were watching a semi-adult movie one night when French Kissing somehow came-up.  El asked Nick if he knew what French Kissing was.  “Sure,” he said, “It’s when you kiss someone and you put your tongue in your opponent’s mouth.”

Where did Nick learn about French Kissing?

Tomorrow:  Jack’s LOL Story